P235 CEEFAX 235 Tue 30 Dec 22:45/41 6/6 "Vell, ve haff listened to the four finalists, who, with one exception have all proved to be drivelling idiots with not a single brrain cell among zemN" "I am delighted to announce ze vinner off this contest is ze dflightful, ze gorgeous, ze amazing PUSS IN BOOTS" "Perhaps, Puss, or may I call you Pussikins, ve can settle up :f matter of the prrize over a candle-lit dinner at my place? Good." "Ze rest of you can clear off!" Thf contest begins in a moment..P235 CEEFAX 235 Tue 30 Dec 22:40/10 4/6 5555717%w5 u%u555u4u0 "' "Ourp thirrd contender is :f charrming Puss in Boots on hdrr special subbect Milk." "Vat method is used to ensure lhlk is free of micro-organisms? " Er.NPass" "Pas-tuerisfd Correct. Vat would you call a pdrson who rrefqsfd to chvd yo4 milk? "Ummm.... Pass" "Pars-imonious. orrect. Ghich grreen hdrb is usfd in a sauce forr fi1h?P235 CEEFAX 235 Tue 30 Dec 22:00/12 2/6 "Ze furst finalist is Mr Rrudolph zd Rednosed Rreindeerr on his special subfct Sleigh Maintenance." "How often do you need to rreplace zf rrunners on Santa's sleigh?" "The way he drives, every three hours" "Correct. Name ze service which gives help viz brreakdowns on long sleigh rrides?" "AA Re-sleigh" "Correct. If ze brrakes fail on a 4 in 1 hill, how do you stop? "How do you think my nose got this colour?" "Disqualified. You vill NOT answer viz a qvestion!! Next contenderr please"P235 CEEFAX 235 Tue 30 Dec 22:40/31 3/6 " Mr Scrooge you haff two minutes to answer on your chosen subjct EconomicsN" "Vat vould you call zf Economic theory that is based on a frree market place?" "Sheer idiocy and humbug!" "grongN A birrd in ze hand is worth vat in zf bush?" "Hmm, About three bob in the Shepherd's Bush market." "krong. If six apples cost 12 pfnce, how much would 12 apples cost you?" "Nothing. I don't buy frippdries like apples" "grongN You haff no points at all."P235 CEEFAX 235 Tue 30 Dec 22:40/10 1/6 The scene opdns on the finals for the title of Master Dunce of the Decade. Burly Nordic question master, Thor Odinson, settles deeper into his chair and coma. The four finalists put down their crib s—eets and blink under the glaring lightsN The bell sounds and the finals have begun! Thor Odinson wakes up and yawns "Each contenderr vill answer kvestions on zer chosen subfct. Iff zey rrefuse....Ve haff vays off makingk zem!" more in a moment...P235 CEEFAX 235 Tue 30 Dec 22:40/04 special subject Milk." bVat medhod is used do ensure milk is free of micro-organisms? Er.NPass" "Pas-tuerisddN Correct. Vat would you call a pfrson who rrefused to ghve you milk? Ummm...N Pass" "Pars-imonious CorrectN Ghich grreen her— is used in a sauce forr fish? "I er, ummm ......N Pass" "Pars-ley Correct. You haff scored all three points yo1 cuddly little thing Ye final contender pleasd "P235 CEEFAX 235 Tue 30 Dec 22:40/01 5/6 "Ze last contender is stage star Dame Widow Twankey answerring on ze subjct of The Theatre " "gho said 'A horse, a horse, My kingdom forr a horse'? "Easy. Dahling Alfred our pantomime manager only last week" "grongN gho wrote Man and Supdrl—n?" "Wrote? I thought it was a cartoon sweetie" "grongN Ghich actress was made a Dame of the British Empire in 1960? " "Listen feather-brain, There's only one Dame around and that's MEN Understand!" "No points for bullying, and thank You"P235 CEEFAX 235 Tue 30 Dec 22:01/01 4/6 "Ourr thirrd contender is xe charrming Puss in Boots on herr spfcial subject Milk." "Vat method is used to ensure milk is free of micro-organisms? " Er.NPass" "Pas tuerised. Correct. Vat milk? "Ummm...N Pass" "Pars-imoniousN Correct. ghich grreen herb is used in a sauce forr fish? "I er, pllm ....... Pass" "Pars-leyN Correct. You haff scored all three points you cuddly little thingN Xe final contender please."P235 CEEFAX 235 Tue 30 Dec 22:40/03 4/6 "Ourr thirrd contendep is ze charrming Puss in Boots on hdrr