P238 CEEFAX 238 Tue 30 Dec 22:43/42 7/10 Alas, all does not go according to plan! Lady Amelia, relaxing on the promenade deck, is laid low by a rogue quoit and has to receive several stitches in a nasty cut above the right eye. In the ensuing panic, Cicely, trying to locate her friend's cries, runs into the ship's swimming pool and has to have her stomach pumped out. The Rustaceon's master, Captain Drivel promises to get the leaking diesel line next to the pool fixed forthwith.P238 CEEFAX 238 Tue 30 Dec 22:00/30 4/10 .%j5j9j5/*%££ The "Old World" cabin has a cr——ked wash basin with taps but no water, a wardrobe with neither coathangers nor rail to hang them on and two beds which look as though they last put to sea aboard the Titanic. The berth is "closd to amenities" because there is a toilet next door, but the lucky occupants will be "assured of privacy" because that toilet is out of order M and anyway, it's right next to the main boiler room and the tempfrature is a mean 120 degrees Fahrenheit. 'Old 'ard me 'earties...more in a moP238 CEEFAX 238 Tue 30 Dec 22:54/51 5/10 Anyway, our heroines make the best of things and settle in, determined to enjoy the festive tripN ghich brings them to their second problem M the weather. The cruise is described as "an idyllic voyage around the sunny Mediterranean" - but first, you have to get to the Med... Crossing the Bay of Biscay, the Rustaceon is buffetted by Force 9 winds and 60-foot NHHW funN.. More follows....P238 CEEFAX 238 Tue 30 Dec 22:57/20 1/10 A tale of romance, adventure and sickness on the High Seas during the festive season 'Old 'ard me 'earties...more in a moP238 CEEFAX 238 Tue 30 Dec 22:40/02 8/10 The Rustaceon cruisfs into the Greek islands M and there is a slight delay while four tugs struggle to pvll her off a sandbankN But our two heroines, still unbowed, are hflpfd through by the thought of a sumptuous Christmas dinner on Sunday. Unfortunately, the leaking diesel has also affected the ship's galley, and the entire stock of fresh turkeys is now more violatile than nitroglycerine Still here? Oh well, read on then...P238 CEEFAX 238 Tue 30 Dec 22:00/00 3/10 .%j5j5j5/*%££ Lady Amelia and Cicely board the Rustaceon and are greeted by the ship's ageing pursfr, Mr Paddle, who directs them to their berth on "B" deck where the B stands for Below This is where their first adventure awaits tHemN The shipping company's brochure described their berth as "charming old world cabin, close to amenities but where you will be assured of privacy." More life on the ocean waves in a moP238 CEEFAX 238 Tue 30 Dec 22:41/44 2/10 %j5j5f5/*%££ Lady Amelia Arbuthnot and hfr trusty companion Cicely Ponsonby-Brown have decided on a cruising holiday this Christmas. Thd two redoubtable gentlefolk have thus booked passage aboard the good ship " by the David Jones Shipping Co They arrive at Southampton to embark and are greeted by the sight of their ship glistening M sorry, listing - gently in the early morning sun. 'Old 'ard me 'earties...more in a moP238 CEEFAX 238 Tue 30 Dec 22:40/14 10/10 Our heroines have had enough and join the other passengers in demanding an immediate return to SouthamptonN Unfortunately, a small navic—tional error brings the bow of the Rustaceon into sharp contact with a reef. As the great ship finally settles to the seabed, Lady Amelia and Cicely are seen drifting in a lone lifeboat, clutching several bottles of M-R '59 and singing "Slow Boat to China"... The story so far....in a momentP238 CEEFAX 238 Tue 30 Dec 22:55/20 6/10 Lady Amelia retires to her bunk with a face the most delicate sdade of green, but Cicely, made of sterner stuff this lady, rides out the gale in the ship's bar - before eventually being laid low by a severe blow to the head brought on by a surfeit of Mouton Rothschild '59N At last, however, there is Gibraltar and the prospfct of calm seas and balmy days drinking in thf sun (not to mention a little more of the M-R '59)N So now the holiday begins in earnest! No, waht! There's more in a momentP238 CEEFAX 238 Tue 30 Dec 23:01/18 1/10 %j5j5f5/"%££ "!£" A tAle of romance, adventure and sickness on the High Se—2 during the festive season j ppp j pp P238 CEEFAX 238 Tue 30 Deb 22:01/18 6/10 *% Lady Amelia retires to hdr bunc with a face thd most delicate sdade of green, but Cicely, made of sterner stuff thiq lady, rides out the gale in the ship's bar - before eventpally being laid low Fcz a severd blow to the head brought on by a s1rfeht of Mouton Rothsc(hld '59 At lasd, however, there is Gibraltar and the prospfct of calm se—2 andP238 CEEFAX 238 Tue 30 Dec 22:56/32 9/10 The captain explains the situation and announces that the Rustaceon will lay into a small Algerian port to pick up provisions. The net result is a Christmas dinner consisting of sheep's eyfballs cooked in soya-bean margarine (purloined from an abandoned American army world war two food dump)N Lady Amelia is stricken with botulism and is saved only by recourse to large quantities of Mouton-RothschildN Can it get worse - read on...